Seriously, I never write in my stupid real-life journal anymore. But I still feel a need to write my thoughts and feelings in over to get them out.

To start this one off... I'm not depressed again; so none of you have to worry about me. I'm just really, really sad right now. My life as I once knew it has still been put on hold, and is showing no signs of returning to what I'd like it to be within the foreseeable future. I'm not gonna go into details on here, because a net-journal just isn't as private as a book journal (but dyslexia sucks on paper).
And I'm not depressed about it anymore, but I am SAD about it (there is a difference. Sadness is rational; depression is a mental problem). And tonight has marked a defeat in the good I was trying to do. Maybe things will still slowly get better... I'm hoping--and praying--for it; but its just one of those things you can't ever be sure about; and where I was once, extremely optimistic; my optimism is threatening to fail me. Because as much as I've always professed my un-NEEDfulness for friends; honestly, I still dearly want the ones I've had. Because no, I don't NEED friends, anymore than anyone else. Nobody NEEDS a family or any money, or a house, etc. either...but you'd play hell convincing most people they don't WANT it....or need it on some other level beyond the necessities for survival. I'm rambling now... But I do that.

But anyway...to conclude, I'm praying that whatever happens, it be God's will. And I pray double-time that his will be for all parties to be happy.

If anyone else want to send up a prayer for me/us, it would be appreciated.